T +10

I haven’t had the chance to write a post-MCAT post yet. This originally drafted a lot time ago but every day I think I’ve wanted to spend time away from a more public thought space in order to actually gather myself. Or there are some days that I’m seriously drained and not quite in the mood to write very much. Today feels like one of those days but I have the feeling that’s how it’ll feel every single day of this week.

Looking back, I realize that coming out of the MCAT, I was quite inconsiderate. For those who messaged me that day or asked me subsequently how it went, I apologize if I came off as whiny and self-absorbed in my own self-pity. Now that I actually tie it together, the past few days’ devos on proper thankfulness have been quite relevant. The test went as it did and while it didn’t feel spectacular while I was writing it or after I had left, nobody knows until 30 days after anyway. At the time, the most absorbing thing was the thought that I might actually have to rewrite the test in September and thus, spend another month studying. I had dreaded the idea of that. The test was supposed to free me from this madness that I seemed to blame for my summer. In the end I decided against retaking the test in September. it was a mixture of convincing myself that I had done decently but also the fact that there were things I wanted to do this month apart from studying and finally, that it was fine if I didn’t get into med school this year. That last one was never a hard one to come to terms with.

The following trip to the states was good, albeit a little more stressful than it should’ve been. Having two days to shop two malls and go to Christmas town is not really enough time. And it was also the first time in a while that I’ve had a real life application of “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s”. Seeing that some things that I’ve become used to and complicit in are actually quite directly contrary to Christ’s command.

As for the following week since I wrote the MCAT, I’ve been slowly getting myself re-accustomed to other things. I’ve started reading again, albeit not necessarily the books I had intended to during the year. I started and finished The Hobbit. I think part of it was to get my mind in the idea of what a work of fiction is like. It’s been so long since I’ve read recreationally and I must say, it was nice. I love the simple feel of a book in my hand. In conjunction with that I’ve been working out a couple more things for the novel. I think I’m spending way too much time in the beginning of the novel but then again, there’s still quite some time.

I haven’t seen a lot of people. There seem to be a lot of events in the next couple days revolving around reunions or hanging out. As much as I miss people, I’m not sure if I want to enter so quickly into that. I know come September I will almost instantly be thrust back into an environment of seeing friends and intimate interpersonal fellowship. But for now, I’d like to be able to be quiet. It’s been a while since my soul has actually felt there wasn’t so much looming over me that I could rest.

I’ll head off to bed now seeing as I have VBC and then frosh connexion tomorrow. I also feel like an old man at VBC. Tired already by 2pm even with only 5 decently well-behaved kids. I’m also probably one of the 10 oldest volunteers. It’s come to that.

 

When I had first drafted this post, I was listening to a sermon and although this was only a minor portion, it resonated again with my exploration in the OT:

And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory? ” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself. (Luke 24:25-27 ESV)

I’m actually seeing a lot from the law. Examples of Moses and Aaron interceding, the fact that God organizes His people so that all are cared for, His impartial nature towards sojourners and Israelites alike which foreshadows the welcoming of Gentiles in the NT.