goodbye

Today I saw my grandma off though in truth, she had passed long before the funeral. We probably killed a small tree worth of resources with the amount of tissue and wood we used this day.

As weird as it sounds, I will say that Mr. Green got many things right about funerals. That they are indeed for the living and not for the dead. I realized that a lot is spent on sentiment. I learned that close to $8000 worth of one-time-sight flowers stood in the visitation room. I realized extravagant coffins are made simply to be thrown into a furnace and reduced to ash. And while my sister is not wrong in saying it’s a sentiment thing, it doesn’t necessarily justify it.

I thought about how the only thing we leave behind are the images that we have left in people’s minds and the fruits of our labor, which are mostly people. I did not know my grandmother well. I will never get to know her for myself but I will hear stories about her from my mother and aunts. And though I did not know much of her actions in the past few years, she raised five women who would one day in turn, raise my cousins and I and part of that is to her credit. That is what we leave behind. And in less than a century, it is likely that nobody on this earth will remember her anymore and the life that she lived. They will speculate from family pictures things about her.

//this is probably not in any way official but if I was ever to die, I’d want a couple things done.

1. My body is first to be given to organ donation
2. Then to medical studies (a.k.a cadaver) and then long after it can be cremated and I can be scattered into the winds or something. Please don’t pay money to keep me in a glass case so you can come visit ashes.
3. Do not buy a coffin. Do not get flowers unless you plucked them from the house. Spend the money on those who are living. Give it to charity or something.
4. Do the Remember the Titans chant. Na na na na Na na na na Hey hey hey Good bye.
5. For those who want to say goodbye or some thing at some kind of small, low key ceremony, just tell stories. Remember what the Lord has done in my life and what He has done through me. And that’s really all that’s important. Hopefully I’ve left enough silly and funny moments to give a couple of good laughs.